So, I'm a little behind...

Surprisingly.

I have been working really hard at getting the XServe up and running, trying to start a dating life and busting my butt at cardiac rehab. The rehab has been the easiest part, somehow. Not sure why, but all of that exercise has this halo effect where if I do the exercises I feel pretty good, almost outright healthy. But when I don't do them I devolve rapidly. I took a few days off because I thought some friends were coming to visit. 

I should have known he wouldn't show.

But I got my hopes up and had them dashed across a rock, as it were. So I had the days off of rehab and I thought I would put it to a test. My mood was fine until something went wrong and now it's been a battle to get back on track. I'll get there eventually, I'm just not there now.

The dating world continues to not be an option. Now it's not that my behaviors are a problem, it's the number of recent run-ins with death that are a problem. Apparently one is above the limit for most.  I believe I am on number three in the last five years. The weird part is I am ok with it, mostly. But others seem to not be, so I am withdrawing myself from the dating pool for a bit. I probably don't have time for that right now anyways, but that just feels like I am shaking off my bruised ego. Anyways dating=not great.

Then there's the XServe. I feel like I am putting a whole lot of work into something nobody will ever care about but me, and I'm trying to decide if that is worth it. Part of me says "yes" part of me says "no". All of me says do it when I have time. It's a hobby, it shouldn't matter what others think. Except the whole thing is about collaboration and if I put a lot of work into it, it would be nice to get something out of it.

Oh well, that's the current news. I feel a bit beat down and unpleasant, but at least I finally wrote something.