Health Updates

 The last couple of weeks have been amazing. Cardiac Rehab has truly been a game changer. I am losing weight for sure. A few pounds off. Two weeks ago I came off one of my blood pressure pills because my blood pressure is at normal human levels. The last week I have been struggling to keep my blood sugar at acceptable levels. Even after eating donuts this morning I was still at normal blood sugar levels. My body is transforming, and as I was just reminded, this is true on several levels. It means my mental health is changing too...

For the most part my moods have been much better. I would almost say I have been absolutely full of joy and gratitude. I like what I am doing. The work is hard and I am insanely tired when I get home, but I feel better and I like it. But the last couple of days I have been feeling the anger seep back in at the sides of my mentality. Every time the phone rings or beeps I curse at it. I just don't want to be bothered and I don't know if this is a depression thing or just a usual I've been doing something for a month and I am tired. Or even just the holidays. I have really hated the holidays for a few decades, Just don't like them. Maybe it's a seasonal affective thing? No idea, but I hate that I am getting so flustered at all of it. I want to hold that happiness I feel tighter than ever, and I know that's how you strangle it. So I am trying to let go and let schwa be schwa.

I pimped myself out for a job last week, tried to sell myself again. I should know better, but there really are some jobs I know I could do better than almost anybody. I understand what is trying to be done, and I think I can help that be communicated really well. I just can't believe I actually want a job again.

Anyways, things are going well, I feel better and who knew a heart attack is what I needed?